My Momma is Coming

Of all the people I love, like, care for, and all synonyms for adoration, most in this world, my mom comes out on top.  Tomorrow my mom is coming from California to Austin to visit me.  For some odd reason, I've been so nervous.  Not because she's scary, but because it is the first time she'll be visiting her adult-daughter.  Adult-adult, not the 18-years-old college-kid-adult.

Let me describe my mother to you.  She's a wonderful, beautiful, lady - inside and out.  Even now that she is in her 60s, she is still very feminine, shy but yet controlled.  Yes, menopause did not spare her, but for someone in her 60s, I think she is still very beautiful.

All the wonder that she is to me, she is also very conservative.  The lady does not like color, and like much less in my taste - I adore color.  I still remember as a teenager, "wear this... black makes you look thinner," she would say.  This is why I'm scared.  We are polar opposites in taste.  She likes stability, I like exciting-flow.  She does not see the point in travel at a young age, and all I have been doing is travel.  Oh, for the love of all that is pleasant, she does not even know I drink.

Ahhh, sigh*, I have been back and forth cleaning my apartment and typing a couple of lines on this blog, hoping to calm my nerve.  I did not realize the degree of anxiety  this woman, whom I love so much, would be able to induce on my central nervous system.  A woman, whom I spent the majority of my life with.  The woman whom brought me to life.  Mom, why?

I love you... But you scare me.

My mom and I.  Yes, she is very light.  No, I am not adopted.

What is Your Happiness?

When asked, what do we want out of life? The majority of the population will say - "To be Happy," according to a bunch*1 of Social Psychology Researchers.   For different people, happiness can be different things. For some, happiness can be sitting in - our backyard.  Our new car.  Our relationship.  At the current moment, my happiness sits in getting lost.  Do not get me wrong, I treasure all the things in my life - my family, all my friends, my pet, my bike, my apartment, my job, etc,.  Luckily, I have a very good base, thus allowing  me to treasure the moments when none of those things exist - in other words, spread my wings and fly.

There is this quote, 

“Travel. It forces you to trust strangers and to lose sight of all that familiar comfort of home and friends. You are constantly off balance. Nothing is yours except the essential things- air, sleep, dreams, the sea, the sky- all things tending towards the eternal or what we imagine of it.” -- Cesare Pavese

This encompasses everything that I feel when I say I like getting lost - when I detach myself, when I travel.  When I travel, it allow my senses to heighten and to try to make sense of everything; the taste, the smell, the culture, the people.  The person who I had built up at home is essential, but she is no longer important.  Nobody knows who she is, what she has accomplished, where she has been.  All of a sudden, she, me, I am, myself is nothing but an observer, a student, an absorb-er -- a present individual.  That to me is happiness.

One happy moment: Machu Picchu

Although, sometimes those happiness churns into horrific memories when I have to witness poverty.  Yet, I have accept that this is the world.  It encompasses both, heart-stoppingly beautiful spaces and heart-stoppingly horrific places.  Both moments remains with me, it changes my perspective on life in ways I cannot imagine.  The moment when I get to sit and watch the sunrise, follows by endless wandering around ancient city of Machu Picchu.  Or when I get to meet people, who I am so interested in getting to know, only to be saddens that we will have to part.  These fragments, these moments makes up my entire journey and it shapes in me in many ways and many days to come.

These moments are my true happiness.   When I sit in traffic in Tanzania or the square in Cusco, and appreciating every moment that I was lucky enough to be there.  How happy am I...

... What is your true happiness?




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*1 yes, 'a bunch-' very scientific - But seriously, Martin Saligman, Sonja Lyubomirsky, to name a few.

Morocco - Getting lost in Marrakech

A mixture of perfume scents and spices twirl in the air.  It's like this mix of lush luxury and local simplicity enveloping your senses as soon you step onto the street and into a souk in Marrakech.  My senses was heighten as I was fortunate to have stayed at Hostel Riad Marrakech Rouge,  which is two minutes from Place D'jemaa El-fna, a lively souk with entertainment and amazing Moroccan local goods.

Reminiscing about Morocco gives me the shivers.  It was total senses overload, in all sorts of good measures.  I arrived a little past 8 p.m., to Marrakech by train, followed by a lone walk through the alley ways of Morocco in search of my hostel.  But I did make it safely, and was awakened by the liveliness of the hostel despite how cruddy it looked from the outside.  With a cup of Moroccan tea, I slept through the night.  In the morning, I stepped out into a bustling market scene, and was ready for some hustling, bargaining, eating, jiving and meeting.

Garden Marjorelle

I hustled my way through markets and lines and saw many landmarks, mosques, riads, etc.   I also found out that I was very good at bargaining.  And/or lying as well.  By the time I got out of the souk, I realized that somehow I've become a student, who volunteers in Africa.  Bargaining, an art I picked up in Tanzania and mastered it by the time I got to Morocco.   

I stopped at a cafe nearby and ate what to me is the best food out of all of my travel.  Lamb Shank Tangine. It was the most mouth-watering, best tasting thing I have ever tasted.  I mean, seriously I have eaten a lot of foods throughout my travel, but this by far took the cake.

Lamb Shank Tangine

Another amazing thing I got to do was to get lost.  I got so lost and normally I try to find my way back, but this time I sort of jut let myself be.  Dodging my way in the souk/medina, I met a very nice amazing local guy, who at first I tried to tell him that I didn't speak English.  And when he found out that I spoke Vietnamese, he went about to chatter a couple of words in Vietnamese.  And from then on, he became my unofficial-official guide.  It was quite nice because he took me to so many different venues.  One place was rug making house.  Another was wood.  And another a local bargaining hour of Moroccan goods.  Kind of true, getting lost will only help you find yourself and many other good things.

Some Mosque that I wasn't allowed in

Another awesome experience was that a friend of mine, I met through Couchsurfing, flew in from France and met up with me.  We met up the second day that I was in Marrakech, and we continued to sightsee, but only to discover the difficulty of finding beer in an Islamic country.  More than our shared love for beer, I love how we nurtured a simple bond of traveling and kept in touch since 2011, in order to be able to meet again for the sake of traveling.

Marrakech, to me, was a marvel.  A mixture between an under-developed and developed country.  The space invokes a red passionate painting in my mind.  Ah, Marrakech, you are all touristy in all the right places.

Light Market at the Souk

Spice Market

Homemade rugs

Reminiscing at Garden Marjorelle

Good night and good jolly, good folks!

Don't Hate

We have all been there.

"Damn, that girl/boy, s/he doesn't deserve that."
"I'm more suited for the job."
or the combination of
"I'm more hard-working/pretty/smart/etc..."

Or worse, there are people who purposely keep other people down because they see that particular person as a threat.  They're afraid of losing their job.  Their popularity.  Their standing.  Or their best worker ever.  Whatever the case.  They are jealous.

Why? Several reasons.  One being, we all adhere to social and biological reasons - Darwinism - we are out to win.  Survival.   Those in better positions wins.   In a more philosophical reason, we look only at the destination and not actually at the journey.  We know nothing of  the how or why that person was able to get themselves there.  All we can see is that they are succeeding, and we get jealous.  In a more contemporary label, we become haters.  We become trolls.

Being jealous and/or holding others down is self-defeating.  It distorts the core of who we are.  Instead, I propose to shine our own light.  Find our own path.  Be happy for those who made their own path.  And as damn cheesy as all this is.  It is true.  Look Oprah, she can attest.  And even Darwism will agree, or Richard Dawkins rather, all in the same boat, "In the struggle for survival, the fittest win out at the expense of their rivals because they succeed in adapting themselves best to their environment."  Those who can work well with others and adapt themselves will in the end win.

But in all seriousness and in a more Anna-esque approach, being jealous or bitter takes way more energy out of us.  We can use that energy to focus on what is beneficial for ourselves.  And as my mama/papa, or Jesus, who knows,  said it best, "the more you give the more room there is to receive."


Give way to others and STOP BEING A HATEFUL TROLL.  It will only hurt you.  

Have a good night kids!

Being Alone

All my life I thought I was an extrovert.  Or so people tell me I was.  Indeed, I enjoy socialization.  I in fact get such a high from socialization that all of my paycheck goes to outings with friends and co-workers.

Up until recently, I realized I enjoy being by myself as much as being around people.  My roommate recently moved out, and for the first couple days I was sad without company.  Then to my surprised, slowly I enjoyed it.  I enjoyed being in deep thoughts.  I especially enjoyed being in deep thoughts while in my underwear and not giving a care.  Anyhow, so much enlightenment passes through my mind being in partial solitude; partial because I have a dog.  Then I realize, all my life, I've sort of been deep thoughts whenever I'm not around people; I go into this pensive state. This pensive-deep-thoughts space pushes me to delve into and introspect my life.

This brings me back to when I was a child.  I remember in the 6th grade sitting in the playground by myself.  I had no friends, since I couldn't speak English.   Nonetheless, I was completely okay with sitting there in thoughts and slowly devising a strategy of how I can be more popular.

Important step no 1.   Study English
Important step no 2.   Push yourself through shyness
Important step no 3.   Be friends with anybody

More moments as such surfaces, like when I'm in a car with my family's ruckus going around me, I just settle in this state of trance and it's as if it is only my thoughts exist nothing else.  I either road-watch or think about how I can go about to craft my art project.

My point here is...  It's nice to be around people.  But it's nice to be by yourself.  It gives you so much introspection.  In our society today, we are inundated with distractions.  Distraction from friends, social media, TV, etc., but if we find only just moments to just be.  Be alone in thoughts, it is nice.  It gives you a moment to digest where you are, how you are doing, where you want to get.

Anywho, that's my thought of the day.

If you're confused whether or not you're an introvert, extrovert, or ambivert, you can actually take a test, here:

http://healthland.time.com/2012/01/27/quiz-are-you-an-introvert-an-extrovert-or-an-ambivert/

According to it, I'm an ambivert.  I can be an intro- or extro- vert, dependent on interest and environment.

From Chicago to Africa

It's Friday.  I'll keep short and sweet.

...

I posted up the pictures from my most recent trip:

http://goo.gl/3vo1Y

Happy Friday!

J,

Anna

Carpe F-ing Diem

When Dalai Lama was asked what surprised him the most; he said,

“Man, because he sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health. And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not live in the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die, and then he dies having never really lived.”

What would you get done that you are waiting to do because you think you will be here forever?  Do you remember all the things you wanted to do but never have done them?

I have many things.  I have a bucket list, in fact.  A bucket list of all things I want to do in life.  I didn't start checking things off until about two years ago.  Not to go into lengthy details, but all the years prior I spent wishing and waiting to do the things on that list.   Because of an incident, I learned a couple of things.  One of the most important is that, things can change almost instantaneously.  That scares me.  It makes me feel a sense of urgency to experience as many things as possible with the little life that I have.  To meet people that I have yet met before.  To cherish the relationships I have now.  To travel and see the world.  To [pardon the cliché] live life to the fullest.  

I have since tried to live in the moment - to be present.  It does not always work, as I am human, and I start to doubt myself and let fear dominates.  Although, I am getting progressively better with honing into the present. As a result,  I get a little bit more womanly balls [excuse the vulgarity] each and everyday. 

The reason why I am writing this is because I want to mark a decision of mine that have been finalized.  A decision that would entail me living for me. That soon, I will be taking off for 6 months to travel the world.  I hope my boss isn't reading this.  But if you are reading, boss, I'm giving you a year's notice.  (I do hope you'll give me a sabbatical or hire me once I get back *crying deep down in my soul*)  

I have a certain outlook in life.  That is to breathe as much as possible.  To breathe in good air.  I'll be breathing in good air for 6 months and will return to spread the good word.

About the People We Meet

I am one of those. You know the ones that everyone sees as being crazy or risky for solo traveling. Yes indeed, I enjoy traveling by myself and yes I'm a bit crazy.  But while traveling alone entails a whole lot of solitary times, it is actually the social aspect that makes the experience all so rewarding for me.

Last year, when I went to Peru, I remember being so altitude sick and bed-ridden in Cusco.   While laying in a common area,  I heard someone said, "I'm going to the [some temple]." Not knowing who it was, or who he was talking to, I raised my hand and asked if I can join him.   Every trip since have continued as such, I just chime in and ask if I can tag along or if anyone would like to go with me.  And as always people are so graceful and welcoming, I never feel alone.

Left to Right: Myself, Teagen, Eddy and Kiah on Kilimanjaro

Myself and Teagen

In my most recent trip to Tanzania, I did the hike on Kilimanjaro originally by myself.  But luckily while hiking I met 3 people, an amazing couple, Eddy and Teagen, and another soul sister, Kiah, who was also traveling by herself.  Through the laughter and sometime tears (mostly me), we bonded.  We bonded over dinner and card games, but most importantly we bonded over summiting the peak; although, I would imagine if one of us didn't make it, it would have been an awkward conversation descending.  Climbing experience elevated by meeting these kindred spirits!  Due to Eddy and Teagen's awesomeness, I  tagged along once more on a Safari with them.  Alone on my trip, I was no more *in Yoda voice*

Thomas and I playing chess in Hookah lounge

Unfortunately, I have no picture playing backgammon
It was just that intense. :/

Over the course of my travel, I also learned how to play backgammon in Istanbul, Turkey.  It was freaking cool because what better place to learn a classic game than in one of its originating region.  The moment definitely enhanced by meeting a new traveling friend, Thomas who was kindly enough to teach me how to play backgammon in a local cafe/tea/hookah shop.  We had so much fun goofing around, especially over my inability to grasp the game.  Sipping tea while the local (waiters) helped me move my game pieces was just stupendous.  Moment enhanced by connecting with another human being.  Without meeting Thomas, I would have just summarized my Istanbul trip by describing the architecture of the Blue Mosque or the intricacy of Hagia Sophia.

Best of all, was my meeting in Morocco with a couchsurfer (www.couchsurfing.org), Bapt.  Bapt and I met when he couchsurfed at my place in Austin in 2011.  We since have kept in touch and because of his residential country, France, being so close to Morocco, he flew in to travel with me.  We bonded over our time here in Austin and moreover we bonded over the 'new' Morocco.  As he put it, "we should take in this moment, because the next time, it won't be the same."   It's true, the present will never feel the same the next time around - one can only recount.  I recount drinking cold beer on a roof top bar of a souk in Marrakech, Morocco.  The wind was breezy, cascading over Marrakech's red folding blinds.  All in good company.

From Tanzania to Morocco.  From my journey at home to my journey abroad.  All my best moments have been shared with the people I met and the connections I maintained.  Experiences are all about the people you get to share it with, so share your experience.