An Uncomfortable Comfort

I'm hyper-ventilating.  I'm pretty scared.  Or nervous.  Or anxious.  A bunch of feelings associated with being fearful.

I know of this feeling before.  It occurred right before my flight out to Peru, so I assume it's just pre-flight jittery.  Sometimes, I pretend to not acknowledge it, but deep down my belly, it rumbles.  It rumbles in fear... or diarrhea. I joke with the latter.  In less than 24 hours I depart from Austin and en route to Kilimanjaro.   So the jitters are setting in.

I guess this is my fearful face

I like these jittery-fearful feelings though, it makes me feel alive.  I understand that most of us are geared to lean towards comfort.  We fear the unknown and that makes us uncomfortable.  That is why we work our asses off so we can have a nice apartment and a nice car - to live in comfort.  However, I would like to argue that to PROGRESS we must feel fear.  We must feel uncomfortable.

Don't you remember that first interview?  That first date? Wasn't it uncomfortable?  But at the same time, didn't it motivate us to do our best? Millions of neurons firing off trying to find directions and innovations to lead us back to comfort.  In that moment of fear is where we grow.  We try to find insight within ourselves, and in the most unexpected twist, we find that uncomfortableness is the actual thing that will lead us back to comfort.  And the cool thing is, we actually grow an extra inch of awesomeness.

That is why I rejoice in this uncomfortableness.  Knowing that I'm enroute to my destinations and that I will get to experience an enormous library of new emotions and experiences, is the actual comforting factor in all this.   Experiences (or favorable ones anyway) are beautiful.  They are the core of growth and growth can be triggered with first an uneasy feeling.  Thus why, I am run towards this uncomfortableness with open arms.  

Hmmm... Good night and be uncomfortable

Mucho Thinkle tonight.