Monday, March 25, 2013

Summiting a dream: Kilimanjaro

12:00 AM March 8th, 2013 at 4710 Meters (15,400 ft).   I woke up, if this was waking up at all, since I never actually went to sleep. Everyone from Kibo base camp had to wake up before 12 AM to summit before sunrise.  Sadly the night before, I wasn't able to sleep due to lack of oxygen and extreme cold. 

I was already dressed in my summit gears the night before, since I knew I would be too cold in the morning to slip in and out of clothing articles.  And a couple of minutes before 12:00 AM, a party of my guide, my porter and myself, set out for Uhuru peak.  Stomping my feet in the darkness, I focused my flashlight and fixed my gaze on my guide's feet.  Soon enough, I followed a rhythm of 1, 2, 3, 4... repeat.  Although, it wasn't long until I started wheezing and held out my arm for my party to stop.  I thought to take a deep breadth, but it only shortened my breathing even more. I felt my pulse, and it was beating from the back of my head through my throat and coming out of my skin. "Pole, Pole..." my guide said in Swahili, which means, "Slowly, Slowly..."  And this is only 1 hour into the ascend.

Slowly, I continued to march on.  No turning back now, as the last 5 days have led up to this moment.

This moment rang with thoughts such as these:

 "Anna! You can do this" 

"Who the fuck does this?"


"1, 2, 3, 4..."


"You can do this... Can you?"


"1, 2, 3, 4..."


"Fuck, let's do this."


My breathing continued to shorten.  I stopped at almost every 8 counts.  And every time, I looked up, people's headlights near the top seems so close yet so far.  I looked down, and at this altitude, the ground seems to be covered in frost or snow.  From time to time, I wiggled my toes to see if my circulations were still alive.  They were still alive, so I continued.  Eventually, we reached a point where I needed to use my arms to pull myself up onto boulders of rocks.  Shit, that was the most difficult thing, since the ascend already have drained the majority of energy from me.  Nonetheless, I persisted and reached the peak before sunrise.

My guide, Damian, shouted, "ANNNNNNA!!! You've made it.  You've made your own history.  I'm so proud of you."  Tears started gushing out of me and I couldn't stop crying.  This is my glory.  This is what I have wanted for so long.  I turned around and read the sign, "CONGRATULATIONS! YOU ARE NOW AT GILMAN'S POINT. ALT 5681 M"

Tears immediately ceased.   My heart dropped.  The thought that followed was, "FUCKKKKK!!! I thought I was at Uhuru peak."  I turned to my guide to inquire about Uhuru Peak.  I followed his pointing finger to the other end of the crater.  Shit, another hour and a half to get there.  "Let's go..." I said.


Before reaching Uhuru, we stopped at, Stella Point, the sun is breaking and the whole crater rejoice and glistens in all its glory.  Again, I cried.  It was and is the most beautiful, breath-taking, sunrise of my life.  All sorts of emotions sprung up in my throat.  I was so happy.  So very happy.  That strong tide of emotion came and then, as with all tides, it disappeared.  I was at peace.  I was existing, but not quite existing.  It was a nice moment.

My guide and I took a couple of pictures.  I smiled and danced like the happiest person.  Then like a soldier, I marched onto my final destination - Uhuru Peak.



At Stella Point with guide, Damian

Finally, 5 days since I have set out from the bottom of Kilimanjaro, I have reached the roof of Africa, Uhuru Peak.  However, I was so worn out and energy-less that I couldn't feel any other emotions other than, "I've made it."  I stretched out my arm like a victor for a silly picture.  Funny, I have played this moment over and over in my head before, but it was nothing like I've imagined.  The altitude has gotten to me.  After a couple of pictures, I plunged my head over and threw up right on... the Uhuru sign (pure irony).

I guess I have reached my peak when I got to Gilman Point and Stella Point.  I cried out my desire at Gilman and laid in passionate peace at Stella.  This moment delivered a lesson to me.  A lesson that not everything in life will turn out the way you planned.  My summit to Uhuru was not the glory moment that I thought it would be, but the two peaks prior were.  I very much appreciated that.  I also appreciate that I had the guts and determination to reach the highest peak.  Uhuru Peak (5,895 meters - 19,341feet)! I own you (bitch).



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Disclaimer: Please excuse the foul language.  They were sincerely the thoughts that ran through my brain.

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