I dedicate this post to a strong and close friend of mine.
Have I mentioned how demoralizing it has been with my dating scene? Demoralizing to a point where I don't date anymore. Why? In part because every date I've been on, it seems like I'm on an interview. Can I also mention how uncomfortable this whole process is? After much thinking... much much thinking... I feel secure enough to say, I just don't date anymore. So, I will go ahead and dispense my theory and advice here.
Most people nowadays, consciously or subconsciously, believe that once he/she meets the one, they would would somehow be eased of all their issues and insecurities. Our society reinforced us with these notions through sappy-cheesy-shits and romantic comedies, where the protagonist hooks up with their amazing soul mate, and it's happily ever. Come on, this expectancy that one individual will fulfill everything is just entirely too daunting. Fudge, that is a lot of pressure on one person.
This is a huge disservice they are doing for their future mate and themselves. Say in theory, that you did meet that one and he/she did make you happy and everything in that particular moment is perfect. This is temporary vibration of energy allotted by love (or lust) will help to dissipate all current worries and stress. But really how long will this last? It's hedonic adaptation*1, folks.
To maintain constant happiness, he/she, for lack of better phrase, must be happy with his/her-self. Even if that means taking an inventory of ones' likings and pursue it as a hobby. Go travel. Take dance classes. Join meetup groups. As a result, and I can attest, doing your passion or yourself, will actually make you a whole lot more happier.
As the Holstee Manifesto manifests:
Or as I say it, if it happens... It happens.
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*1 Hedonic adaption:As humans we have the " tendency [...] to quickly return to a relatively stable level of happiness despite major positive or negative events or life changes."
Have I mentioned how demoralizing it has been with my dating scene? Demoralizing to a point where I don't date anymore. Why? In part because every date I've been on, it seems like I'm on an interview. Can I also mention how uncomfortable this whole process is? After much thinking... much much thinking... I feel secure enough to say, I just don't date anymore. So, I will go ahead and dispense my theory and advice here.
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| Creepy!! |
This is a huge disservice they are doing for their future mate and themselves. Say in theory, that you did meet that one and he/she did make you happy and everything in that particular moment is perfect. This is temporary vibration of energy allotted by love (or lust) will help to dissipate all current worries and stress. But really how long will this last? It's hedonic adaptation*1, folks.
To maintain constant happiness, he/she, for lack of better phrase, must be happy with his/her-self. Even if that means taking an inventory of ones' likings and pursue it as a hobby. Go travel. Take dance classes. Join meetup groups. As a result, and I can attest, doing your passion or yourself, will actually make you a whole lot more happier.
As the Holstee Manifesto manifests:
"If you are looking for the love of your life, stop.
They will be waiting for you when you start
doing the things you love."
Or as I say it, if it happens... It happens.
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*1 Hedonic adaption:As humans we have the " tendency [...] to quickly return to a relatively stable level of happiness despite major positive or negative events or life changes."
GUUURHHH!!!
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