Being Alone

All my life I thought I was an extrovert.  Or so people tell me I was.  Indeed, I enjoy socialization.  I in fact get such a high from socialization that all of my paycheck goes to outings with friends and co-workers.

Up until recently, I realized I enjoy being by myself as much as being around people.  My roommate recently moved out, and for the first couple days I was sad without company.  Then to my surprised, slowly I enjoyed it.  I enjoyed being in deep thoughts.  I especially enjoyed being in deep thoughts while in my underwear and not giving a care.  Anyhow, so much enlightenment passes through my mind being in partial solitude; partial because I have a dog.  Then I realize, all my life, I've sort of been deep thoughts whenever I'm not around people; I go into this pensive state. This pensive-deep-thoughts space pushes me to delve into and introspect my life.

This brings me back to when I was a child.  I remember in the 6th grade sitting in the playground by myself.  I had no friends, since I couldn't speak English.   Nonetheless, I was completely okay with sitting there in thoughts and slowly devising a strategy of how I can be more popular.

Important step no 1.   Study English
Important step no 2.   Push yourself through shyness
Important step no 3.   Be friends with anybody

More moments as such surfaces, like when I'm in a car with my family's ruckus going around me, I just settle in this state of trance and it's as if it is only my thoughts exist nothing else.  I either road-watch or think about how I can go about to craft my art project.

My point here is...  It's nice to be around people.  But it's nice to be by yourself.  It gives you so much introspection.  In our society today, we are inundated with distractions.  Distraction from friends, social media, TV, etc., but if we find only just moments to just be.  Be alone in thoughts, it is nice.  It gives you a moment to digest where you are, how you are doing, where you want to get.

Anywho, that's my thought of the day.

If you're confused whether or not you're an introvert, extrovert, or ambivert, you can actually take a test, here:

http://healthland.time.com/2012/01/27/quiz-are-you-an-introvert-an-extrovert-or-an-ambivert/

According to it, I'm an ambivert.  I can be an intro- or extro- vert, dependent on interest and environment.

From Chicago to Africa

It's Friday.  I'll keep short and sweet.

...

I posted up the pictures from my most recent trip:

http://goo.gl/3vo1Y

Happy Friday!

J,

Anna

Carpe F-ing Diem

When Dalai Lama was asked what surprised him the most; he said,

“Man, because he sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health. And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not live in the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die, and then he dies having never really lived.”

What would you get done that you are waiting to do because you think you will be here forever?  Do you remember all the things you wanted to do but never have done them?

I have many things.  I have a bucket list, in fact.  A bucket list of all things I want to do in life.  I didn't start checking things off until about two years ago.  Not to go into lengthy details, but all the years prior I spent wishing and waiting to do the things on that list.   Because of an incident, I learned a couple of things.  One of the most important is that, things can change almost instantaneously.  That scares me.  It makes me feel a sense of urgency to experience as many things as possible with the little life that I have.  To meet people that I have yet met before.  To cherish the relationships I have now.  To travel and see the world.  To [pardon the cliché] live life to the fullest.  

I have since tried to live in the moment - to be present.  It does not always work, as I am human, and I start to doubt myself and let fear dominates.  Although, I am getting progressively better with honing into the present. As a result,  I get a little bit more womanly balls [excuse the vulgarity] each and everyday. 

The reason why I am writing this is because I want to mark a decision of mine that have been finalized.  A decision that would entail me living for me. That soon, I will be taking off for 6 months to travel the world.  I hope my boss isn't reading this.  But if you are reading, boss, I'm giving you a year's notice.  (I do hope you'll give me a sabbatical or hire me once I get back *crying deep down in my soul*)  

I have a certain outlook in life.  That is to breathe as much as possible.  To breathe in good air.  I'll be breathing in good air for 6 months and will return to spread the good word.

About the People We Meet

I am one of those. You know the ones that everyone sees as being crazy or risky for solo traveling. Yes indeed, I enjoy traveling by myself and yes I'm a bit crazy.  But while traveling alone entails a whole lot of solitary times, it is actually the social aspect that makes the experience all so rewarding for me.

Last year, when I went to Peru, I remember being so altitude sick and bed-ridden in Cusco.   While laying in a common area,  I heard someone said, "I'm going to the [some temple]." Not knowing who it was, or who he was talking to, I raised my hand and asked if I can join him.   Every trip since have continued as such, I just chime in and ask if I can tag along or if anyone would like to go with me.  And as always people are so graceful and welcoming, I never feel alone.

Left to Right: Myself, Teagen, Eddy and Kiah on Kilimanjaro

Myself and Teagen

In my most recent trip to Tanzania, I did the hike on Kilimanjaro originally by myself.  But luckily while hiking I met 3 people, an amazing couple, Eddy and Teagen, and another soul sister, Kiah, who was also traveling by herself.  Through the laughter and sometime tears (mostly me), we bonded.  We bonded over dinner and card games, but most importantly we bonded over summiting the peak; although, I would imagine if one of us didn't make it, it would have been an awkward conversation descending.  Climbing experience elevated by meeting these kindred spirits!  Due to Eddy and Teagen's awesomeness, I  tagged along once more on a Safari with them.  Alone on my trip, I was no more *in Yoda voice*

Thomas and I playing chess in Hookah lounge

Unfortunately, I have no picture playing backgammon
It was just that intense. :/

Over the course of my travel, I also learned how to play backgammon in Istanbul, Turkey.  It was freaking cool because what better place to learn a classic game than in one of its originating region.  The moment definitely enhanced by meeting a new traveling friend, Thomas who was kindly enough to teach me how to play backgammon in a local cafe/tea/hookah shop.  We had so much fun goofing around, especially over my inability to grasp the game.  Sipping tea while the local (waiters) helped me move my game pieces was just stupendous.  Moment enhanced by connecting with another human being.  Without meeting Thomas, I would have just summarized my Istanbul trip by describing the architecture of the Blue Mosque or the intricacy of Hagia Sophia.

Best of all, was my meeting in Morocco with a couchsurfer (www.couchsurfing.org), Bapt.  Bapt and I met when he couchsurfed at my place in Austin in 2011.  We since have kept in touch and because of his residential country, France, being so close to Morocco, he flew in to travel with me.  We bonded over our time here in Austin and moreover we bonded over the 'new' Morocco.  As he put it, "we should take in this moment, because the next time, it won't be the same."   It's true, the present will never feel the same the next time around - one can only recount.  I recount drinking cold beer on a roof top bar of a souk in Marrakech, Morocco.  The wind was breezy, cascading over Marrakech's red folding blinds.  All in good company.

From Tanzania to Morocco.  From my journey at home to my journey abroad.  All my best moments have been shared with the people I met and the connections I maintained.  Experiences are all about the people you get to share it with, so share your experience.

All Good Things Are Wild and Free

After Mt. Kilimanjaro, I went to Tarangire park and Ngorongoro crater for some safari and camping.  This was much needed after the 6 days of smelly hiking.  Just to sit in a rover and thank my blessings that I'm watching these amazing creatures through my own lens.

First Day: Tarangire Park

Second Day: Ngorongoro Crater

It was indeed very cool to be able to see these creatures in person.  Although from time to time, I did wish that I had David Attenborough narrating the experience for me.  Plus it was nice to rest on my buns as I was flying out to Istanbul next.  Good jolly, everyone.

My knight and shining armor: Jessy Sekhon

Me: Jessy, I'm sorry we're in the same city, but I can't see you.  My flight to Istanbul is leaving in 30 minutes.

Jessy: (In all her glorious Punjabi princess attitude, screamed back through the phone)  You bitch! You did not come to Chicago just to fly over me.

(15 minutes later, calling Jessy back)

Me: Jessy, how would you like to see me right now?  I missed my flight out and I have to stay in Chicago for the next 24 hours.
....

And with that, my friend of 8 years came to my rescue.  Jessy Sekhon, to put it lightly, is a force to be reckoned with.  A scarily wielding person but at the same time a spoiled princess.  A medical school student, who from time to time, will call me to vent about how she can't seem to put on her eyeliner correctly.  We live in different parts of the country, but we somehow, despite all odds and ends - boyfriends, school, jobs, makeup, PMS, we still keep in touch.

On this night, cold and windy, in Chicago, Jessy came to my rescue.  We then spent the next 24 hours goofing around Chicago like we were freshmans in college.

Once in a while, you get a friend like Jessy, who is your biggest fan, but also your worst critic.  She will love and care for you.  But if you are not wearing any makeup, she will refuse to appear in public with you.  Although, when you get a tough day or a broken heart, she is always a phone call away.  

 Looking back at my life, I have so many people come and go.  They all have made a great impact on my life in one way or another.  But Jessy did more than most.  No matter the distance.  No matter the time span we stand apart.  She is closer to me more than ever.  If you have a friend like this, you are very lucky.  I know I am.

I sincerely love you Jessy.  And thank you for rescuing me in Chicago.

Summiting a dream: Kilimanjaro

12:00 AM March 8th, 2013 at 4710 Meters (15,400 ft).   I woke up, if this was waking up at all, since I never actually went to sleep. Everyone from Kibo base camp had to wake up before 12 AM to summit before sunrise.  Sadly the night before, I wasn't able to sleep due to lack of oxygen and extreme cold. 

I was already dressed in my summit gears the night before, since I knew I would be too cold in the morning to slip in and out of clothing articles.  And a couple of minutes before 12:00 AM, a party of my guide, my porter and myself, set out for Uhuru peak.  Stomping my feet in the darkness, I focused my flashlight and fixed my gaze on my guide's feet.  Soon enough, I followed a rhythm of 1, 2, 3, 4... repeat.  Although, it wasn't long until I started wheezing and held out my arm for my party to stop.  I thought to take a deep breadth, but it only shortened my breathing even more. I felt my pulse, and it was beating from the back of my head through my throat and coming out of my skin. "Pole, Pole..." my guide said in Swahili, which means, "Slowly, Slowly..."  And this is only 1 hour into the ascend.

Slowly, I continued to march on.  No turning back now, as the last 5 days have led up to this moment.

This moment rang with thoughts such as these:

 "Anna! You can do this" 

"Who the fuck does this?"

"1, 2, 3, 4..."

"You can do this... Can you?"

"1, 2, 3, 4..."

"Fuck, let's do this."

My breathing continued to shorten.  I stopped at almost every 8 counts.  And every time, I looked up, people's headlights near the top seems so close yet so far.  I looked down, and at this altitude, the ground seems to be covered in frost or snow.  From time to time, I wiggled my toes to see if my circulations were still alive.  They were still alive, so I continued.  Eventually, we reached a point where I needed to use my arms to pull myself up onto boulders of rocks.  Shit, that was the most difficult thing, since the ascend already have drained the majority of energy from me.  Nonetheless, I persisted and reached the peak before sunrise.

My guide, Damian, shouted, "ANNNNNNA!!! You've made it.  You've made your own history.  I'm so proud of you."  Tears started gushing out of me and I couldn't stop crying.  This is my glory.  This is what I have wanted for so long.  I turned around and read the sign, "CONGRATULATIONS! YOU ARE NOW AT GILMAN'S POINT. ALT 5681 M"

Tears immediately ceased.   My heart dropped.  The thought that followed was, "FUCKKKKK!!! I thought I was at Uhuru peak."  I turned to my guide to inquire about Uhuru Peak.  I followed his pointing finger to the other end of the crater.  Shit, another hour and a half to get there.  "Let's go..." I said.

Before reaching Uhuru, we stopped at, Stella Point, the sun is breaking and the whole crater rejoice and glistens in all its glory.  Again, I cried.  It was and is the most beautiful, breath-taking, sunrise of my life.  All sorts of emotions sprung up in my throat.  I was so happy.  So very happy.  That strong tide of emotion came and then, as with all tides, it disappeared.  I was at peace.  I was existing, but not quite existing.  It was a nice moment.

My guide and I took a couple of pictures.  I smiled and danced like the happiest person.  Then like a soldier, I marched onto my final destination - Uhuru Peak.

At Stella Point with guide, Damian

Finally, 5 days since I have set out from the bottom of Kilimanjaro, I have reached the roof of Africa, Uhuru Peak.  However, I was so worn out and energy-less that I couldn't feel any other emotions other than, "I've made it."  I stretched out my arm like a victor for a silly picture.  Funny, I have played this moment over and over in my head before, but it was nothing like I've imagined.  The altitude has gotten to me.  After a couple of pictures, I plunged my head over and threw up right on... the Uhuru sign (pure irony).

I guess I have reached my peak when I got to Gilman Point and Stella Point.  I cried out my desire at Gilman and laid in passionate peace at Stella.  This moment delivered a lesson to me.  A lesson that not everything in life will turn out the way you planned.  My summit to Uhuru was not the glory moment that I thought it would be, but the two peaks prior were.  I very much appreciated that.  I also appreciate that I had the guts and determination to reach the highest peak.  Uhuru Peak (5,895 meters - 19,341feet)! I own you (bitch).

------------------------------------

Disclaimer: Please excuse the foul language.  They were sincerely the thoughts that ran through my brain.